Ticket 2 Ride

Wedding day jitters. I had them. We set the date more than a year ago, and it finally arrived.

Small wedding, small venue, but lots of love. I’ve been married before so this should have been a breeze, yet the wedding event felt like the ultimate stage production. I had my part – the slightly nervous groom, awaiting my call to the stage.

We selected a small, cozy venue, located about a 20 minute drive from our home. The venue is at the edge of the historic downtown, and easy to get to from the main highway. Easy, if you don’t rely on a GPS device that won’t get you there. Several of our guests barely reach the venue in time, and one guest never found it. Thankfully, we had our own welcome sign out front that helped direct a few folks to the door. Could we have done more in retrospect? Sure.

The event space was nice, but not ritzy nice. Not pretentious in the least. It was comfortable and welcoming for guests, and memorable for the bride and groom.

My bride looked fabulous, I’ll always remember seeing her walk down the aisle to Etta James’ “At Last.” Radiant and beautiful. She worried about her dress, and purchased several to pick from. The dress is important, i finally realize what that means. Me? I purchase a new suit, shirt and tie; almost everything except the shoes. More on that coming up.

My job, besides getting the drinks and ice to the venue, was to show up, dressed and on time. Major responsibilities.

I proposed to her more than a year before our wedding date. A lot of men would be happy just showing up at the courthouse and having a quickie ceremony. Weddings are pretty ingrained in American culture. I agreed to a small wedding, an opportunity for close friends and family to join in our happiness. My bride, like me, had been married before, but this was the first time she got to actually plan the event, so I needed to show her some support. She did a magnificent job and we received many compliments. A wedding doesn’t have to be expensive, grand or thematic to embrace the unity and create an intimacy with those in attendance. We accomplished that.

Okay, back to me. I have to admit, I dreaded shopping for a new suit. It had been years and several changes in fashion since I purchased my last suit. Looking online, the suit market has changed; buying habits have apparently changed, and availability has changed as well. Waiting until a month before the wedding, and hoping I’d lost ten or more pounds, I ventured into a department store. Within 30 minutes, I was measured, suit ordered, payment made, and on my way. That was a surprise. When the suit arrived, a few minor alterations were made, and then I picked out a new shirt and tie. Everything but shoes. I had a great pair of expensive black shoes, so I was all set.

As I said, the venue was easy to find, almost a straight-shot off the highway. Our wedding day was on a Sunday and the weather was perfect for a fall day. Traffic was light and the scenery beautiful. Little did I know the ease I had finding the venue would not be experienced by others. Should I have included a map? Yes. I had relied on everyone having modern GPS. Bad idea. Apparently, it was easy for folks to get turned around and confused, the GPS only making sure that disagreements happened inside the car. Sorry about that.

It’s a wonderful thing to find your soulmate, and then to form a partnership with them. Thankfully, they accept you no matter the ridiculous things you do or stupid things you say. However, they never forget them and pick the most embarrassing times to re-tell them. That’s true love.

As I was standing in the side room waiting the start of the ceremony, I noticed my right shoe felt a little spongy. No big deal I thought, these were expensive orthopedic shoes and are supposed to really cushion your feet. Since I retired a couple of years ago, I don’t dress up, so these shoes were in a box in my closet. I put a new shine on them so they were ready to go.

I looked down at the shoe and noticed something stuck to the bottom. It was black and looked like rubber or something soft. I lifted my foot and discovered the shoe’s sole was peeling off! The loose pieces were leather and rubberized materials. The shoe was literally falling apart! A friend of the bride, who was helping with setup for the reception, noticed and grabbed a role of clear tape. She helped patch together the right shoe, which now had tape all around the sides and bottom. We laughed, it was funny. Thankfully, we caught it before the ceremony. How unfortunate, I thought, but nothing to come unglued about (sorry, bad pun).

Then, I noticed the left shoe was also falling apart before our eyes. Another minute and I would been standing in front of family and guests. She again grabbed the tape and covered the left shoe in tape. It was too bizarre to be upsetting. Here I was about to be married and my shoes, both of them, disintegrated. I now had two shoes wrapped in shiny tape, making loud, crinkly noises as I walked.

I walked into the room and stood in front of the officiants. There was enough ambient noise that no one seemed to notice the walking bubblewrap. I stood still, hoping not to draw attention to my shoes. Then, the music started and my life changed…

At the end of the ceremony, tradition called for me to stomp on a glass in a cloth bag. Would my shoe stay together while I did this? What if my shoes hadn’t fallen apart earlier, but waited till this key moment to do so?

I carefully placed the glass on the floor and I raised my foot to do the deed. My shoe made contact with the bag and the glass broke inside of it. The guests celebrated. After kissing my wife, we walked up the aisle. I shuffled my feet to minimize the crinkle noise.

Yes, a few people wondered about my shoes: the noise and tape sheen, but didn’t say anything. I changed into my athletic shoes and dumped what was left of the shoes into the trash. I covered their remains to keep anyone from noticing them.

Shoes with synthetic components, even leather, will break down over time, expensive or not. Material degradation is a real thing. I’m now convinced of it!

We laughed about it, especially me. The self-destructing shoes will be a wedding story for the rest of my life. What a day!

Footnote:

Wedding photos did reveal a glimpse of my tapped-together shoes.