Ticket 2 Ride

Damn, my fingers are tired from writing. I’ve been at this for almost eight years. My little blog, Ticket-2-Ride.com, has kept me out of trouble and out of a gang – specifically, the grumpy old men. Old, but irritated.

Fifteen hundred blogs measured in snark is equal to a week of Kardashian Instagram postings.

How do I celebrate this most important event? I pondered as I watched the drama unfold on the Love is Blind tell-all. Maybe I should tell my own story. What’s it like to be a semi-successful blogger? Great idea!

So, I decided to grant an interview. I would need a tough, but fair personality, someone that wouldn’t hog the limelight, and was compassionate and empathetic. I threw a Hail Mary and asked former president Donald J. Trump if he would do the honors. It just so happens he had a court postponement and jumped at the chance to grill a progressive.

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DJT: So, you have a staff of people who write this thing for you? I’ve never heard of you or this blog thing.

MM: Nope, just me.

DJT: I write all of my own social media posts. I wake up in the middle of the night with an idea, I don’t turn on the light because it bothers Melenia, so I pull the cover over my head and type on my phone.

MM: Interesting.

DJT: I have the biggest vocabulary of any President, way bigger than either Bush. And Joe Biden. Talks like he’s some senile old man, I get treated so unfair.

MM: Did you have more questions?

DJT: Yes. Do you get paid for this Ticket-2-Ride thing?

MM: I do not monetize my site.

DJT: I think we have a new, world’s biggest loser. Everything is for sale. You wouldn’t have lasted five minutes on The Apprentice. I would have fired you faster than Hunter Biden. Really, you don’t charge to read your blogs? I can’t believe it.

MM: Not everything is for sale. Jesus wasn’t out to make a profit.

DJT: Jesus wasn’t a good businessman. His carpentry business. Chapter 7. He wasn’t aggressive, no killer instinct. If he was on The Apprentice – fired! Even Gary Busey is a better businessman man. But I like Jesus’s book. The Bible. Big seller, but he didn’t copyright it. Huge mistake.

MM: I didn’t know that.

DJT: You know my book, The Art of the Deal?

MM: Heard of it.

DJT: Sold more copies than The Bible.

MM: Did you write that yourself or have a partner?

DJT: I wrote it like I’ve always said.

MM: Tony Schwartz might differ.

DJT: Never met him.

MM: I do this for fun. No intent to profit.

DJT: Last chance. If you need help with a paywall or licensing, I can have Rudy or Sidney give you a call. They need work.

MM: I’m good, thanks.

DJT: Okay, we’re done. I’ve got to get to my next rally. Remember, vote for your favorite President. Buy the way, I can get you a deal on my new digital playing cards.

MM: Hard to put one of those in my bicycle spokes. Say “hi” to Kid Rock for me. I’ll buy him a Bud Light sometime.

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Disclaimer: This was not a real interview, just a bit of fun. No hard feelings.