Now that I’m retired, I have started looking around for ways to earn some extra money. Although with my pension there are a few restrictions, but no limitations for good taste, greed or morality. That gives me a lot of options!
I thought about getting into the product endorsement game. Maybe being a hand model or something like that.
There are a few products and services I have in mind.
Assault Weapons
Senior Citizens, lock and load! One never knows when an insurrection or Russian invasion will pop up and interrupt an early bird special! We offer financing and will train you in tactical shooting.
Erectile Dysfunction
Men, still got lead in the pencil but nothing to write home about? Or can’t write home? There’s hope to stiffen that rope. Just listen to some of our testimonials and try our orange pills.
Older Gents Escorts
Reasonable rates! Two dates for the price of one! We have many different accents to pick and languages. The romance of the Latin language – on special this month!
Products Testing
Want to earn big money? Ever taken harmful drugs? No experience, don’t worry, we can show you how! New drugs in development need you to try them first. Make a contribution to society and leave some money for your heirs. Disclaimer: Should you grow a third testicle, not a problem! We’ll snip that worry!
Lead a Travel Tour
Like to travel? And for free? Look no further, have we got a deal for you! Now that the pandemic is history, people want travel, and they don’t care where! Join our country and lead tour groups to Iran, Afghanistan, North Korea, Myanmar, Somalia,
Ticket 2 Ride 
Well dang, that’s some solid copywriting skills right there. You got me sold on erectile dysfunction, and my pencil still writes! Lol, I enjoyed this.
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Thanks so much!
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Retirement has so much to offer. I did it in 2019 and my wife last August. Now, we rise, drink coffee and stare at each other. I recommend going back to work.
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I laughed out loud. I can relate to the rubber pencil one. (Hey, I’m not proud.) And speaking of genitalia issues, with all of America’s assault weapons lying around, you’ve got a big market there. And I’ll offer my own services for drug tester and elderly escort…but does the escort have to be a stud?
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Breathing may be the lone requirement.
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